How do you...?

HE and I are Yin and Yang...
HE and I are also the same in a way...
HE makes the sun shine bright on a gloomy day...
HE is, in fact, my sun...

HE is sense and sensibility...
HE is logical and calculating...
HE is smart and well-read...
HE fills a lot of good things in my head...

HE says I suddenly go silent...
HE says I have a myriad of facial expressions...
HE says I'm a random element...
HE says he has yet to learn what goes on in my head...

HE is right... A lot of things go on in this head of mine. Even I get confused at the amount of information I gather and process every second... It's like each thought tries to get some priority... Ok, now I'm babbling.. I'm rambling about Operating Systems stuff... Ok, where was I?

HE fills my mind, especially on times when I am idle... It's like he's like these commercials in between TV shows, only better. HE has started to make me feel again... Slowly, the ice is melting and the ice princess is soon to be no more...

How do you share your thoughts with a guy who tries his best to read your moods? How do you share your thoughts with someone when you have a problem of how to get your thoughts out without the words getting in the way or misinterpretted? How do you share your thoughts with someone who wants you to be open about everything, when all the time you have told yourself to keep it all in... Fearing that other people might think you're crazy, silly, or paranoid...?

HE is right. I have yet to learn these things... I might be slow on it, but I will eventually learn it... I want him to know how I feel... What I'm thinking... He shouldn't be always guessing what I'm thinking... Eventually, he will also learn to read what's on my mind just by looking at my face and body language... Map my moods... I am a random element, even I can't change that... Well, not this soon at least...

The Sky and me

The last installment... I'm doing a major downsizing of my blogs, people. You get crazy with all the blogs I have come to make. I need to organize it but also not make it worse... ;)

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by KaSoRi
started 06-24-04
finished: 06-24-04

Dear Sky, when I drove by,
I looked at you;
With your feathery clouds,
You showed me your gracious smile.

You caressed me with the wind,
Relieved my tensions with your scent;
Oh how you bring the scent of the sea to me,
We both know that’s what I want today.

I could smell your tears,
and I could see them welling up inside you;
Oh how you try to hold them inside of you,
Yet when you break, you give it all out?

And when you are angry,
You grumble and roar;
Sometimes you are scary dear friend,
That I dare not offend…

Words and Passion

The fourth installment...

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by KaSoRi
started 03-26-04
finished: 03-26-04

Before I met you,
I always took you for granted;
Knowing that if I ever needed you,
I’d always find you hiding,
Hiding in a good book.

When I do see you,
And don’t understand what you mean to me;
I look at you, try to be you
and feel what it is you try to convey.

You are a part of me,
As I try to become a part of you;
You are my life force,
My strength as well as my will.

You are my passion,
You drive me to heights;
Heights and levels which I thought,
Were once impossible.

You drive me wild,
As you tickle my imagination;
You make me sad, happy,
Sometimes strike a chord and make me angry.

Oh Words, you and your kin,
Are an obsession to me;
A passion that I want to know;
To feel you and never ever part from you.

Am I?

The third installment...

***

by: KaSoRi
started: 03-17-2004
finished: 03-17-04

When we’re out together,
I don’t understand myself;
Am I foolish for the things,
I ought to be or not be?

When I’m with you,
I think of a lot of things;
I feel a lot of things,
I haven’t allowed myself to have for a long time.

Am I a liar?
To not tell you how I feel;
When all of this time,
You have been most honest to me?

Am I too paranoid?
When everytime you get close to me;
I make up excuses,
Just to get away from you?

Am I selfish?
When I don’t tell you;
That most of the time I’m with you,
All I could think of is holding you near me?

Am I a hypocrite?
To tell you that I don’t need;
The affection that you give me,
When all I could think of is you and me?

When I’m with you,
I am always hoping,
That someday I can tell you,
How I feel for you…

To be able to hold your hand,
To be able to touch your face;
To be able to hold you close,
To be able to say how I feel…

Why you, Why me...

Another old one... The second of a few more old write-ups of mine from a time long forgotten...

***

by KaSoRi
started: 03-17-04
finished: 03-17-04

Today, as I get up from bed,
The first thing that came into my mind,
The first chain of thoughts,
Was you and you alone.

I don’t understand how or why,
But I can’t seem to get you out of my head;
Why you, why me
Why have we come to be?

There must be a plan,
a plan for the two of us;
I don’t know what it is,
But I do plan to find out soon.

I’m still not sure,
What your presence means to me;
Or I to you,
Why you, why me.

Yet Another

An old one from another blog, long forgotten by time and circumstances...

***

by KaSoRi
started: 11-19-03
finished: 03-17-04

The room, dark and unwelcoming,
The lights turned off earlier tonight;
My eyes focus on whatever little light,
No matter how minute, I care not;
For this light is shed by an old friend,
whose been there for months now.

The room is very dark now,
Its ambience, still unwelcoming;
If only someone had left the light on tonight,
I know some people likes the light,
(No there is no one whoeremembers not,)
Yet it seems that no one remembers it.

Oh how I wish there would be more,
More people and more light;
For I have found the lack of both,
Most frightening and unwelcoming;
Help me persevere tonight, oh Lord,
As I succumb to yet another night of overtime.